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| 26th February 2011: The Autistic Perspective On Haircuts, Hairdressers, And How To Deal With It Ok, so, another post on another thing that I relate to. And no, this isn't going to be a "them vs us" post. It's something I experience which I suppose is weird and has today been mentioned on Google News. Right now, as I write this, I have long hair. I haven't been to the hairdressers in a few months less than a year. It's pretty much shoulder length right now. Anyway, the reason I mention this is that a chain of hairdressers is opening in the US which partners with Autism Speaks. Oh, and the reason it's so long? I like it long, plus when I get in from work I'm not really in the mood to get it cut, and when I wake up it's either too late or I am too sleepy to go get the train (a mile away). Now, this hairdressing chain, Snip-Its, works with Autism Speaks to help Autistic kids get a less traumatic haircut. And yes, it can be traumatic. You see, we have sensory issues too. Not something that crops up every day, but it can. I am very sensitive to touch, as my girlfriend found out on her 15 day visit here in December. Sometimes the sensations caused by someone just touching me anywhere can be unbearable. I'm also very sensitive to sound. The sound of people arguing is like nails down a chalkboard to me, and I have to shut it out with headphones and loud music. I also hate places like crowded cafes where there is a lot of talking, because I can't not listen, but I can't pick out one conversation either. It's sensory overload. So how does this relate to haircuts? Well, to cut your hair you need to get close to someone. If you're a kid, you can't really protest, they just think you're being a little shit. Know this, been there and been thrown out. And then there is the small talk. Small talk is hard when you're blunt and not really able to express yourself fully using verbal communication. Then there is the noise. Yup, the sound of clippers really grate on my nerves. But Snip-Its is helping with this. They have a games console in front of the chair, to distract the kid. And chairs near the stylist so the parents can comfort and reassure the kid. Sounds like good stuff to me. I'd love to play Smackdown vs Raw or Animal Crossing whilst getting my hair cut! And this weekend, they are giving 20% of their profits from their South Carolina branch to The South Carolina Autism Society. Which I think is kind of cool and should be spread about a bit. So, what do I do as an adult? Well, my late grandmother had a friend who cuts hair in a salon in a nearby village, so I go there. I told her I was Autistic, wasn't good with small talk, that I get a bit anxious waiting around with people I don't know if everyone is busy, and that I am sensitive to being touched. She is so cool about it. There is no small talk, they cut my hair with scissors as much as they can then blast it with the trimmers, and the touching and close contact is kept minimal. It's great. Except they're five miles away, but hey, can't have it all! As a shameless plug to a company I like, Splish Splash in Brockenhurst is an awesome barbers shop, and Sue the owner is equally awesome too. You can find their details here. I didn't get paid for that either, but I like them so they get a mention. There was also mention of nail clipping in the article on Google News. That is something I hate. It's like torture to me. I chew my nails to keep them short, and after I shower, if they're long, I attack my toe nails. But those little metal clippers cum instruments of torture? No, they can stay far away from me. The best explaination I can give to what happens, doesn't really make sense. It has all the sensations of pain, without the actual pain. I know that doesn't really make sense, but next time you hurt yourself, think about more than just the pain. There is more there. That's it. I just wanted to highlight this very cool thing they are doing in South Carolina for an Autism charity and point out that sometimes it's stuff you would never even think of that affects someone with Autism in a way would never dream. Permalink Tags: Sensory Overload, Autism, Social Issues, Snip-Its, Splish Splash 25th February 2011: Tiny Post Containing A Free Film No tricks, no chicanery. Just free movie goodness. Go to this site and you can watch the amazing film Ben X (not one Ben 10 joke, I have heard enough of them!) for free. It's Belgian, the dialogue is in Flemish or Dutch (I got mixed messages in reviews but speak neither), made on a tiny budget, and subtitled the whole way through. And I relate to this film hugely. It's pretty much what school was like for me. Just be warned, it's not an easy film to watch. Very gritty. But, the game is real, playable, and you can download it here. Lastly, trivia I only discovered when researching this post: Ben X is the character name, it's rarely, if ever mentioned in the film. Ben X said quickly is Bennicks, in Dutch this literally means "I am nothing". Apt. Permalink Tags: Ben X, Free Movie, Free Game 25th February 2011: Disorganised Order So, since some people don't appear to like blog posts about stats (wierdos) I suppose I had better write something more "interesting". And no, don't take that as a personal attack, it's just a bit of gentle teasing. Anyway, a local station here, BBC Radio Solent had a thing with an Autistic guy on the Paul Miller Show (sorry for the vaguery, I didn't listen, my mother did) and he was fielding calls about life skills and Autism. And then a woman phoned in and said that her son or her grandson (I forget which) was very messy, and when she tidied his room, within days it was messy again and that he was Autistic. The Autistic guy who was fielding the calls said that being messy was common in Autistic people, but it's because we can find order in mess, and we know where everything is. The caller then said that her relative (it's easier to call them that) always commented that he could never find anything when she tidied up after him. The Autistic guy on the show said that mess to her was order and structure to the Autistic kid. This struck a chord with me. I am very messy. Or at least outwardly I am very messy. My stuff is neatly arranged in chaotic piles, and I can pinpoint objects within those piles very, very easily. Like I said to my father, I might not know exactly where the thing I am looking for is, but I will know roughly where it is at any given time. But when someone tidies up, I have no idea where anything is. Even my drawers are a mess. But here is a thing. Today my mother's mobile phone died. It's been dying for the last few weeks, but today it died. So I asked her what she wanted out of a mobile phone, since we're both off tomorrow and we could go get a new one. She just wants one to make and recieve calls and texts. So I went upstairs, grabbed a phone I stopped using about 5 years ago, and gave it to her. And that's how my organised chaos works. I can find stuff I haven't even thought about in years, and I know where it is. Not that I have any clue how this ability works, but it works for me. Guess I'm just lucky I don't work in an office! Oh, and props to Paul Miller (met him, nice guy) for having an Autistic guy on his show putting across our side of things. A lot of presenters shy away from that. Good call that man. I believe the Autistic guy had a blog called something like Life Without Labels, but all I found was this defunct blog. If the blogger in question wants to get in touch, I will gladly put a link out there to your blog. Permalink Tags: Radio Solent, Paul Miller, Autism, Life Without Labels 19th February 2011: Jack's Stats (WARNING: LONG POST!) Ok, I am going to give a warning right now before I start. This post is probably going to bore the arse off you. No seriously, I mean it. I'm an Autistic geek and I love statistics. My maths is pretty horrible but give me a spreadsheet and I can do complex chaos theory stuff with my eyes closed. And yes, I know "stuff" is a bad word for that field, but it's *really* hard to explain what I do. So, I decided to take a poke at my statistics. I keep detailed statistics on who visits, from where, their ISP, etc etc. It's all tied into the counter from StatCounter, so don't cry privacy violations. Well, at least not to me... Anyway, the stats (for me) make fascinating reading. I get such an insight into who visits, from where, how often, and being good with patterns, I can almost figure out which person came from where. To be fair, if I could be bothered, I could figure out precisely which person came from where. But I digress! So the basic stuff. The blog ranks 4th in Google for people looking for Jacks Blog and 2nd in Google for Jack's Blog. Oh, and 1st in Google for the strange people Googling Jacksblog.co.uk. I say strange because I do it at work and at home, and I see other people on the logs also doing it. Weird. Just type it into the address bar! Anyway, this is pretty cool for a blog which was dead for the best part of 2 and a half years, then I resurrected about 5 months ago. I'm happy with 1st, 2nd and 4th. It's important, because people are Googling for Jacks Blog and Jack's Blog. Yup, logs show me this too. Now, like I said, the logs show me the ISP of the person. You may be thinking "So what?" Well, this gets interesting when you realise that big huge companies are their own ISP. Yup, they're not immune to my logs either. I had a visit from Microsoft. I think I can guess why... But it's cool for me, because they typed the address in, they didn't google it. I had a visit from Hampshire County Council. Also very interesting, because they also knew the address. And I know people who work there, but they've told me they don't visit my blog because they don't know the address, which is quite cool. Someone knows me, maybe works with the person I know, and I have no clue who they are. Someone from Bloomberg came, and they also knew the address. That blew my mind. Bloomberg! They are massive! But the one that made me swear out loud - RIM UK. Research In Motion UK. For those still not aware - the UK arm of company who make BlackBerry phones. I am in awe. Now, I have to admit, I am an Android user, and I'm probably never moving from Android (until Meego anyway) but I love BlackBerries. I even have an ancient one which I used and loved. If you want to send me a Playbook, I would happily review it from the Autistic perspective (shameless beg and I don't care). All of those big, household names and power players are impressive. But what got me was that people come back. 52.9% of people come back and read the blog after their fist visit at least once. That to me is cool. 16% have been back more than 10 times. That is really cool to me. Oh, and Hi to the person in the Southampton area (that's as narrow as it gets) who uses Opal Telecom. You come here a LOT don't you? And then there are the real geeky stats. Out of the last 500 people to visit the site, 210 used Windows 7. But 115 of the last 500 people used Linux (you guys rock). But here is the one that made me smile; 62 people of the last 500 had an unknown operating system. If you're one of those people, leave a comment and tell me what OS you're using! Geeky minds need to know! And yes, the thought it could be a Google/Bing/Yahoo/Ask spider have crossed my mind, but they're normally discarded. And just this month I got 310 visitors. That to me is really impressive because from October to the end of January I got 350 visitors. 41 more visitors and I'll have got more visitors this month than I got in the space of 4 months. You all rock. Even the people who've said nasty things, you still rock because you're part of this. And this brings me to the comments. Last month I had an average of 11.2 comments per post. Pretty good methinks. But this month this rose to an average of 17.5 comments per post. Love how vocal you guys are. Again, even the nasty ones. Because there is a bigger point to this post. Not just my love of stats. Not just that I love ploughing through the logs and going "Fuck me, so and so visited!" This is a community. A bit rough and ready at times, but there are regulars, people who visit every now and again, and people who visit once. And in all seriousness, I love the comments. Even people who disagree with me, because debate is good. Even people who make personal remarks about me, because honestly - been bullied, you're never going to hurt me and you are an integral part of this community. So, if you've read all the post all the way down to here...WHY? Let me know in the comments! But seriously, thanks to every person who visits and more so to the people who comment. The comments make me keep writing the blog, and because of that, I have big, huge, ambitious plans in the works. And when I unveil them, I get the feeling all hell is going to break loose! So go on, comment! Say words! Nice things if you want, and nasty things will be laughed at. Permalink Tags: Statistics, Blogging, Community February 18th February 2011: This, Paul Chapman, Is Why I Should Be Allowed To "Breed" So, Paul Chapman commented on the previous post, saying "i'm not convinced you're fit to add to the human gene pool. Give me 10 good reasons why you should be allowed to breed if you're as defective as you claim to be." Interesting choice of words Paul. Now, according to Paul Chapman, I have a defect. I say this because I would never call myself defective. Far from it. So I took it upon myself to do a little research on Autism. This is all stuff I know, but I wanted to cite sources. The first thing about my "defect" is that one theory about Autism from The University Of Montreal is that my neural wiring isn't dysfunctional. It's just different. Quite a lot different. If you're neurotypical - i.e. "normal", you might want to stop reading from here, it could get uncomfortable. First off, we suck at your common IQ test. Autistics can come across as retarded in the Weschler Intelligence Scale. However, when we use the Raven's Progressive Matrices (considered to be the gold standard in general intelligence) we excel. We score way above the low scores attained in the Weschler Intelligence Scale. But Autistic people completed the non language parts of the test at least 40% faster than non Autistic people. This suggests that Autistic minds may be more efficient than normal minds. Hardly a defect. We also have an ability to direct our focus to things. It means that we can identify shapes embedded in designs, individual notes in chords, things that normal people often don't notice. But it's not just that. We think in patterns and images rather than words. I simply can't imagine thinking in words. Then there is Temple Grandin, who works at The University Of Colerado. She claims that families with a history of Autism produce more engineers than those in the general population. She also associates intellectual giftedness and creativity with Autism and Aspergers syndrome. She claims that Bill Gates and Einstein both have/had Autistic traits. Her claims extend to the point that she says Silicon Valley wouldn't exist without IT specialists and their "Autistic Genetics". Bold claims. And hardly what you would call a defect. Add to all of this the fact that the Autistic brain excels at maths, chess, computer programming, music, engineering and physics. Not really a defect is it? So Paul Chapman, you wanted to know why I should be "allowed" to breed, I think I put my case. Better neural efficiency, generally being better at the gold standard of IQ tests, an ability to direct our focus which non Autistics don't have, the ability to see shapes in designs, the ability to hear notes in chords, being gifted and creative, and as I can prove myself, a seemingly in-built affinity with IT and computer technology. It might not be the "10 good reasons" you demanded, but I only need one. In many ways, I'm better than you. And if you're "normal" and found this article outrageous, appalling, disgusting, and any other words like this; good, it was meant to be. Said it before, and I'll say it again, this blog isn't aimed at "normal" people. It's here to defend and speak up for people with Autism, Learning Difficulties and disabilities. All data was taken from this article. Permalink Tags: Neurodiversity, Autism, Learning Disabilities February 16th 2011: This Makes Me So Angry... Some people wonder why I write this blog. A lot of people don't "get it". The whole point of this blog is to highlight the massive gap there is between the "normal" world and the world of people with learning difficulties. It's for people with Learning Difficulties, Autism, and anyone else who doesn't feel a part "normal" neurotypical society. And I am completely unappologetic for being firmly in the camp of those with learning difficulties. Because our side needs a voice. Take the case of "P", a case which will be going to court again in April. Now, to avoid being in contempt of court, I will give the basic outlines of the case only. Basically, P is a 21 year old woman with severe learning difficulties who is pregnant for the 2nd time. I'd like to interject here and say the one thing no-one else is saying. Congratulations P. Her mother, "Mrs P" says she has to look after P and the 1st kid, and can't afford to look after future kids, so she wants P sterlisied. Now, I get it. Kids are expensive, and Mrs P can't afford to look after all of P's future kids. But sterilisation? Come on! That is drastic. I know from my girlfriend that we have the technology now to implant devices in women that release a contraceptive. My girlfriend even suggested it for her trip here. So why can't we do this to P? Has anyone even tried educating her on the matter? Has anyone even spoken to her? And here is where my argument really ends - has anyone asked P what she wants? Before you argue "Well, she can't understand" just think for a second. There are people right now trying to work on cures for Autism. There is a trial trying to get funding for a drug which could cure Autism and appears to have done in the preliminary trials. I don't agree with this drug, but imagine if 10 years down the road, after we've sterilised P, she gets this drug. She becomes "normal". Who is going to explain "Well, you didn't understand, so we butchered you". But this isn't the only case of "normal" people fucking with the rights of people with Learning Disabilities. Earlier this month, a man was banned from having sex with his partner because he didn't understand. Now to me, that is even more wrong. The thing is, the guy was in a gay relationship, what is the problem? I don't think unwanted pregnancies are going to be an issue there. So it's just people barging in and going "Well I don't like the looks of this! A man having sex with a man with learning disabilities! Oh no no no!" It just irritates me that people can say "You can have a baby" or "We will allow you to have a relationship" but then turn around and say "You're not clever enough to have a baby" or "You're not clever enough to have a relationship." I'm lucky. I've completed IQ tests, and my IQ is around 180. Except...it depends which IQ test I take. The "national IQ" test I did badly on, just 101. Others I consistently score 170-180. Why? I pick the ones with more visual and word questions than maths questions. But say something happened that I took a bang to the head. Lost some IQ points. Would people say "Oh, now you're not smart enough to date that girl you've been dating for 10 years". I assure you, there would be hell to pay. And for those who would want to try and split us up because I have Autism and "might not understand the implications". Try me. I'll make you famous. Permalink Tags: Forced Sterilisation, Human Rights, Autistic Rights Movement February 8th 2011: And Then We Wonder Why People Have Lost Faith In Politics? I wrote a post a few days ago but didn't publish it about how Paul Maynard was mocked by Labour MPs in The House Of Commons. I wasn't especially surprised. it happens all the time. People mock disabled people, and then they say sorry, and everything is OK. Because they said sorry. Except of course it isn't. For those who think I am blowing this out of all proportion, look at it this way. If I called a black person the N word within earshot of a police officer, I would be hauled up before a court for racism, and rightly so. If I called a gay person a faggot and they were offended, they could report me to the police and have me charged under a hate crime. And rightly so. Just to clarify, before anyone claims I am homophobic, my neighbours are gay, and are the best neighbours in the world. One of my favourite bloggers is gay and we communicate via his comments section often. The above was just an example. But here is the thing. If someone called me a spastic in front of a police officer, as far as I am aware, no crime has been committed. If someone calls me a retard, still no crime has been committed. How is that right? Oh wait, it's ok, because they're sorry. And I get this a lot. Just yesterday a customer, who is fully aware that I am Autistic (I informed him the first time this happened) called me a retard. Now, the first time he did it, he appologised profusely, shook my hand, and told me he honestly meant no offence. Now, because people have no way of knowing that I am Autistic, I give people a second chance. Insult me once, be warned, and don't do it again. So, I smiled at this guy and said "You know I'm Autistic, right? And you know that retard is an offensive term to me?" and he frowned and said "Yeah, so what cock breath?" I kept smiling and said "Well my friend, that makes you a retard for calling me one." Call me unprofessional if you will, but I refer you to my previous examples. And if I had been in a wheelchair, would it be acceptable for him to call me a cripple? I think not. Now, when I wrote my unpublished post, I predicted that the MPs would come forward, and appologise, and everyone would say that they were wrong, assholes, and we would all move on with our lives. But something far more sinister and sickening has happened. You see, this entire episode was captured on camera. It was broadcast on the BBC. I know this because the Daily Mail has been through the footage and named at least one MP who mocked Mr Maynard (who won't name the MPs in question) and exonerated another MP. So, we have footage, we have proof. And what has happened? Other MPs are now coming out of the woodwork saying "An MP would never mock a disabled MP" and "We just didn't know he was disabled, we stopped when it was pointed out!" Uh huh. Really? You didn't know? HE HAS A SPEECH DEFECT! What did you think it was? Too many dutch courages? This whole issue sickens and angers me. Because I know this is an end of it. No-one will be investigated. Ranks will be closed, powerful people will protect less powerful people, and the media will be told kindly but firmly to shut the hell up about it. Because after all, it was only a disabled person who was offended, upset and insulted. It was, oh, you know, a "normal" person, so what does it really matter at the end of the day? It's the 21st century people, how much longer do disabled people have to put up with this shit? Permalink Tags: Paul Maynard, Disabled MP, Disability Discrimination, Hate Crimes February 3rd 2011: How Computers Being A Mystery To People Is A Mystery To Me I thought that since I am embarking on
the latest leg of my Linux project (www.simplicitylinux.org.uk)
that I would make a mention of both it and something from the
Autistic spectrum which I bring to it. Note: You see, I often hear the phrase “Programming is hard”, which is true to an extent. Learning it isn't easy. Over the years I've learned BASIC, Pascal, Visual Basic and C. But for me the jumps were never that big. BASIC was easy to pick up, and when we learnt Pascal at college, it wasn't that much of a jump from BASIC, nor was Visual Basic. C was harder, but then C is far more powerful than any of the other languages I've described. But enough of the history lesson, the thing is, when I code, I can see what the end result is going to be. Not just imagine it, it's more like a split screen. I see the code, but as I code, I can consciously see it taking shape. Like with this site, although the code isn't particularly complex, I can see where bits go, how they interact, what they do, and move them around without needing a WYSIWYG interface. Although to be fair, I do use one when I'm not on the road just for sheer ease of use. Now to take that a step further. Simplicity Linux is based on Puppy Linux and derivatives thereof. The problem with Puppy is that it's “incomplete”. It doesn't lack power, or anything else of Linux, but it is cut down for speed. So libraries are missing when you install Debian or Ubuntu packages. The other day, my computer illiterate member of my team visited (he helps with the Netbook release interface) and caught me coding an experimental and unreleased version of Simplicity Linux for personal use. And the latest Chrome release was missing libraries, so I simply copied them from my Ubuntu install and popped them in Simplicity. He asked how I knew where to go, since the command line didn't tell me where they were. I told him that it was obvious they were in /libs/. He asked why, and I said that was the library directory. Then one library wasn't in /libs/, it was actually in /usr/libs/. So I went there after unsuccessfully raiding /libs/. He asked how I knew to look there, and whether someone had shown me. I told him no, I just knew. So he asked how. And I just stopped and said “I have no idea, I just did. It made sense.” Although the guy is also on the Autistic spectrum, he was astounded at this ability. But this happens a lot with me. For my work with Simplicity Linux, I play with a LOT of distros to find one with a good kernel, nice preinstalled features, then mess around with it, adding and removing stuff. And never once have I really had an issue where I didn't know what I was doing. I have an affinity with computers. Like the other day, my boss was trying to get into a blank account on the computer and was about to be locked out, so I offered to help her with the last try. The password was supposed to be password, but it wasn't working, so since she asked had told me that the password needed to be 8 characters minimum and at least one number, I just said “Oh, of course! The password is password1!” She tried it and got in. And these are accounts she has been setting up for the last 2 weeks. Now, I know what people are going to say. “Jack, you should be working in IT, not stacking shelves!” The thing is, I am trying to. But it's a circular situation. To get into IT, you need roughly a year's experience. But to get experience you need a job in IT, and so it goes on. But I am doing what I love. When I was a kid, anyone who asked what I wanted to do when I grew up was told the same thing – A programmer. And I'm doing it. And I get recognised for it. Several fellow Open Source programmes have told me they like Simplicity Linux, and in Germany last year I was out sightseeing with the User Interface guy after Linuxtag, and a group of Germans kept yelling “Simplicity Linux! Simplicity Linux!” Eventually I realised I was wearing one of my t-shirts with the Simplicity logo on it. The group came up to me and said “Simplicity Linux?” so I nodded, and they grabbed my hand, shook it manically and kept saying “Danke! Danke! Danke! Danke!” and then rattled off some German I didn't understand. But that was a very cool moment for me. Scary, but cool. People I didn't know, who I'd never met, thanking me publicly (and a little insanely) for something I do for fun. I also had some guys from a German search engine laugh when I chatted with them and say “Ohhhh, you're the crazy guy behind Simplicity Linux!” It's a slight inside joke, because one reviewer was very positive, and then described me as a Karacatus Potts type character, developing from a conservatory deep in the New Forest. Ok, I have rambled and gone off topic
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